Thankful Thursday...Rock my world God...part 3

The whole family attended Passion again a few weeks later.  The church had a guest speaker who was a previous kicker for Atlanta Falcons, J. Todd Peterson, graduate of UGA, GO DAWGS! Todd brought a very interesting perspective to my life.  I left church that day in deep thought, trying to analyze what this challenge looks like for my life.  Todd just told the church what that looked like for him and his family but the challenge I was faced with was what does that mean for my walk with God.  I was very confused inside because there are decisions hubby and I are having to make in next several months with what seems to be great opportunities that have come with this position God has granted us.  I began seeking deep in my soul for my true motives and what is in my heart. Praying to God to show me clearly, give me your eyes Oh Lord.  

This battle inside my heart has been on going for about 4-5 years.  I have sought council from my godly mother, godly friends, and most importantly God.  A friend during that time gave me advise that was awesome.  She said you have to check your heart in every situation, what are your real motives for doing something?  This was 4-5 years ago and I was beginning to carry guilt for buying something nice or having success in my business.  Why am I feeling like I shouldn't have?!?! I was in turmoil inside! Began wondering is God calling me to a life of suffering, was He about to ask me to sell everything?! Talking to my mom revealed the same results, check your heart Coleen.  

Through the years, it has continued to be a reoccurring thought.  I have tried to make the feeling go away through things like sacrificial giving or giving my talents for His glory. Honestly not really understanding what was going on inside of me.  What do you want Lord!?!?!? Getting to a point where I just want to say, "Leave me alone! I'm so confused Lord!"  

When I think back to the time this all began, it was when I wanted to sell the BMW.  I didn't want the image that came with driving that SUV.  Just couldn't do it anymore, so we sold it.   It has been a number of things big and small that has been called out in my life.  Another example was when we remodeled our kitchen last summer.  The kitchen was well over due, all original to the 1980's style, duck blue!  Eek! We kept it simple with me repainting existing cabinets, new hardware, adding a few new cabinets my handy hubby installed in other area of kitchen from Ikea.  We agreed on granite counter tops, knowing they yield a good return on investment.  It all turned out perfect! All within our budget, and the best part was no more 80's blue counter tops! After it was all done, I looked around and loved it! It was perfect, till the next day.  I was covered in guilt, did we make the right decision, was this being a good steward with what God has provided? Confusion was setting in deep once again.  I was desiring to be a humble, good steward for God. What does being humble actually mean? What does being a good steward actually mean?  This is when I begin to get in trouble and take my eyes off God and begin to look around me at what others are doing.  The caution light is blinking so brightly but I don't even see it, signs telling me warning, turn around, you are heading down the wrong direction now.  Amazing how we don't see that till it is too late.

I saw what that meant for other families and was thinking that must be what God wants me to do.  Some families where giving up cable TV, some giving up trips to salon, some handbags, some gave up a house they built from the ground up.  I started giving up my hair color, nails, etc. Everything I could think of to bring some peace to this stirring inside.  Honestly nothing was bringing that peace I was longing for.  I was still looking at others thinking they have, but don't seem to be bothered, what is wrong with me! I was seeing it everywhere! I remember watching a Beth Moore video, thinking look at Beth's blonde high lights and pretty nails, her outfit is super cute tonight. Wonder why she has those things and I am so full of guilt when I have them.  What is going on Lord?! Even found myself looking at my pastor and his wife, they dont seem to be bothered by these things.  These are all godly people.  People who are dedicating their lives to live for Christ. Why can't I have a peace about this God.

To Be Continued...

Rock my world God...part 2

The family and I are members of  First Baptist Church of Woodstock and have been for 10+years now.  We have also been attending a church in Atlanta called Passion City Church on and off the past year.  I LOVE Passion City Church! My first experience was when I attended service while Beth Moore was speaking last summer.  The worship was so authentic and moving in my soul, it was a stirring I haven't felt in a long time.  Worship was....freeing.  I am sure some of it was because I knew no one there and felt freedom to give all to God without judgement.  I know it was also the Holy Spirit in that church. The movement that is there is powerful.  My hubs loves it, my kids adore the passion kids area.  I mean who wouldn't, you are having worship in tents! So cool!

Several weeks ago, the kids and I attended by ourselves and the preacher Louie Giglio was just beginning a series called Passion +  Purpose.  Louie was challenging the flock to find their passion and purpose for God.  God has created each one of us with different talents and passions for a purpose that serves God.  Some are called to full time mission work while others are not.  Some are called to stay here and work in a salon or in the business world.  We need to embrace our passion and run with it for God!  The stirring inside of all of us is put there for a purpose so that we reflect back to the TRUE ONE who gave it to us in the first place.  The purpose of every human created is to know God and make God known.  That is our great commission.

"Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” Matthew 28:18-20

"May the God who gives endurance and encouragement give you the same attitude of mind toward each other that Christ Jesus had,  so that with one mind and one voice you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ." Romans 15:5-6

One thing that really stood out to me with flashing lights, cause God knows that is what it takes to capture my attention at times, that Louie said was that we don't need to make Jesus great because we can't make Him any greater then He already is.  We are only called to make Him known, period! BOOYAH!  We should come together as a church and/or community for the same purpose, even though we aren't doing the same things with our talents and gifts.  God doesn't call us to the exact same walk or way as others.  We are special! We have to be careful when we start to compare ourselves to others.  I believe there is a healthy way to do that, but it can cross over into not walking our walk God has created us specifically for.  It can cause our eyes to loose focus on Him.  We can become consumed with  comparison, thinking we have to do or act just like this or that person.  They are walking with God on their own personal walk, so it is going to look completely different then our own.  God is personal, He desires a personal relationship with you and me just as we are.  How beautiful is that thought!  He wants us just as we are, broken, shameful, torn, in need.  Absolutely BEAUTIFUL in His sight!

Remember your talents can be used to reach people that someone else can't reach, so be careful to compare and think you have to change what God has created.  

You can use it as a challenge for your life but not as a copy cat.  I am so guilty of this! I found myself trying to copy others walk with God instead of allowing my personal relationship with God and what He has created me for to flourish in our special time together.  

To Be Continued...

Rock my world God...part 1

Ask God to rock your world and He will!

Last week was AMAZING!  I am overwhelmed with what God is doing in my life.  He has never given up on me.  He didn't leave me as I am, broken and unseen by Him.  He pursued me continually year after year, moment after moment, through many people.  I think about how I left conversations listening but yet not understanding at the same time.  Confusion set in, so I began to pray let me see you Lord.  I realize He can't reveal all to us at one time because that would be too overwhelming for our minds to handle.  We can't grasp the Lord and His mighty strength with our human minds.

"I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now." John 16:12

God revealed a stronghold in my life, which I had no idea even existed.  I knew I was walking in His will for my life but always felt like I was missing something, somewhere. Just had no clue what it was.  I even thought it was Satan fooling me, to get me off track, so I would dismiss it but it always came back in one way or another.

"Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world." 1 Peter 5:8-9

I also remember from a study by Kelly Minter, No Other Gods, she was talking about the crafty nature of Satan and the Bible refers to him as the Father of Lies from the beginning.  When the serpent asked Eve "Did God actually say..." Genesis 3:1, it was to create doubt.  The same tactics Satan used then he is still using today, on me and you. He tells us true statements, but ultimately it's not THE TRUTH to keep our focus off God. This was what he was doing to me, using true things in my life but not the truth, all the while keeping my focus off God. 

"keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that lay before Him endured a cross and despised the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the God's throne." Hebrews 12:2

I meet an older women in the hallway of a conference two weekends ago.  I was in thought while thousands of women pass me by, thinking how each one of them have a story God is writing specifically for their lives, some in pain and suffering,  others in joy.  This lady stopped in front of me and simply said "Smile, honey." She was very petite.  I'm only 5'5" and I remember having to look down into her eyes. When I looked at her, her face had a glow about her.  I almost dismissed this opportunity but looked at her again.  She said you look like someone who just sits back and observes a lot.  I said your right I look at all these women here and each one has a story God is knitting for them.  She responded with you're right and if we are not seeking His word and guidance for our lives we will miss it.  She began to cry, then so did I.  We hugged.  She then asked me if I have ever done the study Experiencing God by Henry Blackaby.  I said funny you mention that study, my mom gave it to me years ago when I was very young in my walk.  I did several days and got discouraged and stopped because I felt it was way over my head.  She encouraged me to pick it up again and do it.  She mentioned how helpful it was to her in seeking God in her life and how we miss the boat sometimes with what he desires for us.  She smiled again and we parted ways.  At the time I listened but did not recognize all that I do now about that conversation with that woman.  I recently finished a study and have been praying about what to do next, but just didn't have a peace about what. A friend has been talking a lot about God working on her believing God and His promises.  He is who He says he is and He will do what he says He will.  He is faithful to the end.  We know that but do we truly BELIEVE it.  Big difference... She is thinking of doing Beth Moore's Believing God, which I thought I would do with her since I haven't heard anything else at this point.  I honestly never felt a peace about doing that study and recently told her I'm not doing it, between my schedule and timing, its just not going to work out.  Now I see the study for me is Experiencing God, like my friend who's word is believing God, my word is experiencing God. 

I left the conference in red financially with my booth, but I knew God called me to do that.  I had no idea why and still unsure why, but rested in the fact He will use this someway or another.  I don't know how but confident something for His glory would come out of it.  It always does! God is good, all the time!

To Be Continued....

Deck Update....Day 6 or 7

I am loosing count on the days of this deck now.  Mostly because hubby is working little at a time, he works for an hour or so in evenings then skips a day or two and works on a little more.  Hard to keep up with that.  

While he was working one afternoon, kids were playing out front.  When I looked out, I just thought I was going to die laughing.  Yep, they are running around with witch hats.  Thanks Grannie, they are still loving those!

I thought I would sneak out to the front to catch a picture of them playing. So I ran with my standard shoe wear of flip flops to hide quickly behind the tree before they saw me.  That proved to be more difficult then I imagined, because I slipped in the mud and fell flat on my face!

 I realized I am too old to be running around like that. Heehee!

Hubby starting on the cover for the deck.  He is very confident in his work I'd say. :)

 One of the witches, grew tired so came up to join us for a break.

Quite the majestic thinker, my hubby is.  This is his face he makes when he is in serious thought.  HA, just kidding, he is a mess!

The steps are ready to be used. No more ladder now!

Don't look Momma till after Mother's Day

Mother's Day is just around the corner, Sunday May 12th to be exact.  A day to celebrate all those hard working mother's.  Just think of the rears wiped, children bathed, homework and projects finished by the due dates, hot meals cooked, tears shed, laughs shared, hugs that will warm your souls given, lunches packed, lessons taught and learned, all from the blessing of caring for a child.

How do I know its a blessing, for the Bible tells me so!  (Did you catch that tune?!)

Children are a blessing and a gift from the Lord. ~Psalm 127:3

Some days this verse rings true, from my head down to my toes, I can feel the blessing and the happiness that comes from being a mother.  Other days not so much.  When I feel myself looking at my kids as burdens or interruptions, I close my eyes and pray for the Lord to change my thoughts and actions toward them.  I pray, "Lord you say in your word children are a blessing. It doesn't say only well behaved, healthy, obedient, happy, smart, athletic, artistic, loving, or fun children.  It refers to all children. So even though my child is acting very undeserving in this moment, please give me your grace and mercy so that I can share the same love with grace and mercy you share with me with them and open my eyes to see them as you see them, blessings."

Who can find a virtuous woman? She is far more precious than jewels... 
Strength and honor are her clothing, and she can laugh at the time to come. 
She opens her mouth with wisdom, and loving instruction is on her tongue. 
She watches over the activities of her household and is never idle. 
Her sons rise up and call her blessed. 
He husband also praises her: 
Many women are capable, but you surpass them all! 
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised. ~Proverbs 31:10, 25-30

My kids are still young but I think about what we have endured together as a family and it is HUGE! I think that is what bonds a family, riding the roller coaster of life.  It has it's highs and lows, but in the end I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world!!!!

Makes me think on my own mother.  The love she has shown me and I know she draws her love for me from God.  That's the only way she would have been able to put with me.  heehee

The Lord is really the only way you can truly, unconditionally love someone forever.  We have the perfect example of how to be a mother through Jesus.  Just read His word daily and He will show you.  He will give you the strength and courage to endure each day and to become the mother He has called you to be to His children He has gifted you with.

Love is patient; love is kind. Love is not jealous; is not proud; is not conceited; does not act foolishly; is not selfish; is not easily provoked to anger; keeps no record of wrongs; takes no pleasure in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. ~I Corinthians 13:4-7

Still looking for the perfect gift for Mother's Day?

I have a FREEBIE for you! This is part of my gift to my own mother and want to share with all of you!

You can download your own bible verse print here!

Just print as a 5x7 and place in a frame of your choice. (I got this frame from Hobby Lobby, all those that are interested.)  Perfect gift for the special mother in your life!

Deck Rebuild...Day 5

The deck is slow but steady with it's progress.  My hubby does have a day job ya know! :)

We have rails up now! Woohoo! 

We decided for a simple rail, cause we are pretty simple people, nothing fancy needed here.  We went with black for the balusters instead of wood, just to add another element to the design cause there will be a lot of wood everywhere once finished.

Skeleton for the steps is ready. We decided to stretch the stairs the whole width across. That will help ease the transition of the sidewalk much easier then hubby trying to create angled stairs.

It's gonna look great when it's done! For now though we are using the ladder to get up and down, which the kids LOVE.  We usually never let them on the ladder when it has been out for other projects, but had to break our own rules for this stage.  

See up down, up down, up down, they go. Ta-da! 

Chew on this...

Do you feel like you are going down into the belly of the ship hiding from God and what He is calling you to do? Jonah tried that and it didn't work. He went down into the ship, and then was thrown overboard down into the sea. Down is not the direction we are to go, we are to be going upward! Pray this week that we are going upward as a church and that we are going upward in our walk with the Lord. If we are trying to hide from God, come out of hiding because it doesn't work. God is there to redeem us, not hurt us. Pray for a fish named Grace to swallow us up and allow us to have time to repent, pray, and prepare for what God is calling us to do. ~ Frances